Internet! Where have you been?! I’ve been worried sick!
I guess I kind of did one of those things again where I let shit stockpile and don’t take the time to write up a post and things get through unnoticed and friends are like “dude! Why didn’t you tell me you blah-blah-blah?” and then I finally do write a post but when I do I just write an annoying run on sentence. Was that supposed to end with a sentence? I’m in The Grammar Club, damnit! I shouldn’t have these issues!
Speaking of the Grammar Club…. (World’s best segue way!)
We are officially back. Shael Riley & I, in major cahoots with Ty Guenley and Alisean, as well as a roster of my favorite rappers, have released our 3rd project, Bioavaliable. Shael says that is the process of the body absorbing substances through the skin. I think the image is kind of gross and liked our first choice: Vagenius. It’s gross too, but in a way I’m more comfortable with. Less clinical. Title aside, this album is our strongest work to date in my opinion. We will never make another Balloon Flight or Alternate Ending, but I defy you to not add Plastic Submarine, Sex Person, Last Good Day, or any of the 7 new songs up there with our best. I just want to whole-heatedly thank Damien, Jesse, Dan, Eugene, SJ, and Andy for working on this project with us and really going above and beyond the typical collab track vibe, and really approached it as a member of the group. Grammar Club growing like the Aquabats! Except our kids show would be on HBO.
“This collective of musicians has put together a smart release full of fast paced and creatively pointed lyrics against a backdrop of tightly produced tracks.” – Wired GeekDad
“Beefy and Shael Riley with more than a little help from Ty Guenley (responsible in part for the music, production and mixing) have put together an accomplished piece of work that flows well, is fun and sounds great.” – The Unheard Nerd
“…for this release The Grammar Club has removed the governor, activated the supercharger, and other automotive metaphors as well. An impressive stable of guest stars and increased production values make for an album that is a pleasure to listen to.” – GeekSmash
The VPC is still surging through me! I missed out on telling you about our 5 and a half minute pop-rap track Beaker and I made called “Homebody.” We did not win. I guess people weren’t ready for 5.5 minutes of face melting, head bopping excitement. It’s cool. It’s not for everyone. Our new track for round 3, “I Don’t Want To Live On This Earth Anymore”, will not be for the kinds of people who try to convince me that Chris Brown isn’t a monster piece of shit animal who deserves to be put down. People in that category can feel free to participate in some other music competition. The challenge this round was for the producers to recreate a song without sampling it. I think. Producer talk is confusing. Beaker hit some roadblocks and then all of a sudden I have a remake of “Look At Me Now” in my inbox, and all I could think was that this was some kind of humorous ruse. Surely we’re not going to sample this douche. Very funny Bryan, now send me the White Stripes inspired beat that I had requested.
When you get lemons, make lemonade. When Beaker gives you a Chris Brown song, use it to verbally throat-punch a disrespectful asshole. Then dump lemonade on the wounds. I think the metaphor has escaped me, but you get my jist. I think this is the fastest I’ve ever rapped on a track which is pretty cool. And I haven’t rapped so heated since… who knows? I mean, who out there knows? I can’t remember a majority of my tracks. Either way though, please be kind and give it lots of votes. I suspect there has been a lot of “vote my song high and all other songs low” going on this round, which only sucks because I didn’t do that, but I totally would have! That is not what I want for you though. You can read my thoughts on a few of the tracks this round here, and Beaker and his posse usually talk about each round on Nerdcore Meow. Also, I want to do Nerdcore Meow again. Make it happen, Chadley.
I feel like there was more stuff. I know there is more stuff. Sadly, no more stuff that I’m willing to write about at this time. Go listen to my new shit!